Ask Hikari
by ryoubakura98
Summary: Ryou, Yugi and Marik have their own talk show based off the advise sections in the newspapers. But is there advise any good? Find out in chapter two when the Letter aswering begins.
1. Chapter 1

Ryou: Why, hello there! It's me, Ryou. And I'm here with my fellow Hikari's. Yugi and Marik.

Yugi: Hi!

Marik: Hello! We are the host of Fluffy's new story, 'Ask Hikari'. It's not like 'Truth or Dare' it's sort of like a 'Ask Whats-her-face' sections in the news paper.

Yugi: You just ask one of us for advise and we try and help you…in the best possible way we can.

Ryou: Right, you could be like, 'Dear Ryou, I'm failing math. What do I do?' or 'Dear Yugi, There's this guy I like at school. Should I ask him out?' or 'Dear Marik, I think I'm being stalked. Should I send him to the shadow realm?'

Marik: I like mine! Poor person though, being stalked and all.

Ryou: Marik, I made it up.

Yugi: Don't bother Ryou. Let him figure it out on his own. It's the only way he will learn.

Marik: What ever! Well, there was our short little description. We can't really do anything until we get reviews with the letters in it.

Ryou: Oh right! Send the 'Dear Hikari' Letters in through a review. You can be specific and choose one of us, or just put dear Hikari and we will choose one of us to answer.

Yugi: Bye! Until next time when we get to start answering questions!

Marik/Ryou: Bye!


	2. Chapter 2

Marik: Hey guys! Guess how many reviews we got in less then twenty four hours?

Ryou: How many?

Marik: We got-

Yugi: Eight!

Marik: What the frig Yugi?

Yugi: What?

Marik: I was gonna answer my own question!

Yugi: Then why didn't you?

Marik: CAUSE YOU DID!

Yugi: Well…sorry. Our first review from our first reviewer is from sailorblaze. Thanks for being our first reviewer!

Ryou: And for reviewing! His letter says:

Hm...

Dear Marik,

I had a bad day. Hug, please?

Dear Ryou,

What would you do if you were at Target, and had to perform a certain list with a certain crazy Egyptian?

Dear Yugi,

Are you a panda?

Marik: Sure! *Hugs sailorblaze*

Ryou: Well, that depends. Who is it and what are we doing?

Yugi: I can answer that. Read 'Marik and Bakura: 333 Ways.'

Ryou: Oh, ok.

Yugi: No.

Ryou: You're not a baby panda?

Yugi: No!

Marik: Damn you're good.

Yugi: Ugh! The next letter is from crystal moon princess:

My dear hikari, yugi:

If you could have one wish what would that be^_^?

My dear hikari, ryo:

I hate when my friend buggs me to get the guy she likes to whit us to the movies." what do I do ^_^?

My dear hikari, marik:

What would you do if you were the pharoah^_^?

Yugi: Um…to be caught up with my friends puberty wise.

Ryou: Tell her 'You go ask him yourself!' and get all mad about it. Anger is the answer to everything.

Yugi: Look who's talking Limey Boy.

Ryou: It's Limey MAN! Here to kick ass and drink cups of tea! *Looks for tea* And I'm all out of tea!

Marik: I would rule the world! Even though the Pharaoh only rules over Egypt, ancient Egypt to be more precise. Can I read our next Letter?

Yugi: I don't care.

Marik: Alright! It's from Vivian's Shadow:

Dear Ryou,

I think that white-haired, skinny anime characters are smexy. Everyone else thinks I have a problem.

My friend asked me the other day while I was drawing, "If some pencil-necked guy with white hair walked into the room right now, I bet you would run up and hug him, am I right?"

"Au contraire," I replied smugly, "I would glomp him."

"You would... what?" (This is one of my friends that knows absolutely nothing about anime)

I let out a big sigh. "You don't have any idea what glomping is, do you?"

Besides not liking anime characters anymore, what can I do so that no one thinks I'm an obsessive nerd? (Which I am, by the way. .w.)

Luv,

Vivi's Shady

Ryou: Well one, thanks. Two, your friends think you're weird cause they don't have the same feelings towards a cartoon as you do, so they don't understand. And three, um… you could try and not talk about anime so much. Fluffy has a friend who thinks that Fluffy is really obsessed with Yugioh, which is true, because she talks about it all the time. So, just don't talk about it a lot. It's not uncommon to like an anime character. It's called being a fangirl/boy. Fluffy is a fangirl of me.

Marik: I'm her third favorite on her list of her top ten favorite Yugioh guys!

Yugi: What am I?

Marik: Five.

Yugi: Oh. Do you know the whole list?

Marik: Yeah, it goes: Ryou, Malik, Me, Atem/Yami, You, Bakura, Kaiba, Mokuba, Joey, and Pegasus.

Ryou: Pegasus is on the list? He's gay isn't he?

Marik: When Fluffy was little, like three or five, and watched Yugioh all the time, she was a Yami and Pegasus fangirl. Now that's she's thirteen, She's a Ryou and Yugi fangirl.

Yugi: Me? But I'm number Five.

Marik: Heartshipping.

Ryou: o.O Oh yeah, I forgot her weird Yaoi obsession. Any way, next letter is from DreamixAngel:

Dear Hikari

I have a huge crush on an anime character and I want him to be real. Will I ever find someone just like him or am I wasting my time? If he does exist, how would I know that he's the real thing?

Marik: I'll answer! Ok, well you could always go to an anime convention and look at the cosplayers. Or, lets see…if you're looking for someone like Ryou or Bakura, find a British guy with white hair and brown eyes. If you're looking for someone like me or Malik, look for a super sexy Egyptian with white-ish blonde hair that likes to wear gold and show off his super sexy midriff.

Ryou: Nice description of yourself.

Marik: Thank you!

Yugi: I have a question from Fluffy for our readers. She wants to know where you can download Yugioh episodes. She wants to try and make her own Abridged Series, although it's hard being a thirteen year old girl doing all those guy voices. The next Letter is from CandyassGoth:

Dear Marik! omr,you are sooo pretty! can you give me some beauty tips? i need a new look! preferably like you HeeHee

Marik: Why thank you! All though I'm a guy so the correct term would be either super sexy or hansom. Ok, where lots of gold, and very revealing clothing. Get a large tattoo of hieroglyphics on your back and wear lots of eyeliner that runs down your cheeks in the shape of a lightning bolt type thingy. And, last but not least, always carry a gold rod in your belt loop.

Ryou: Again, nice description of yourself. The next Letter is from rukiluka:

Dear hikari yugi

How did that whole you being a panda thing start?

Second there's this guy that's being a total jerk to me in school at my job and on occasion he'll show up at my house to tease me cause my mom let him in sadly.

Yugi: In littlekuriboh's Yugioh The Abridged Series, episode 36, I'm dueling Joey with a chain on my ankle-

Marik: I bet all your fangirls just wished they could jump right through the screen at that moment.

Ryou: Why?

Marik: Yugi…In chains…Come on its not that hard to understand!

Yugi: Anyway, I say to the Pharaoh who is at the moment dueling in my place 'Pharaoh you have to let me take over. I'm the only one who can break through to Joey.' And Yami says 'Oh yeah, How do you figure?' And I say 'Have you seen my face? Seriously I'm so cute people have mistaken me for a baby panda! Just one whimper out of me and he'll be the Joey we know and love again.' And Yami said 'You mean you're not a baby panda?' And I said 'No.' And he said 'Wow you're good.' And that's where the whole baby panda thing began. Also, about the dude following you and being a total jerk, just kick his ass already! He'll leave you alone if you do some major physical damage!

Ryou: Wow, that was a lot of typing on Fluffy's part. Also, she recommend you guys watch some of LK's Videos. They can be really funny, like 'Marik orders a kedaaah' and 'The vagina monologues'. The last one had Fluffy laughing so hard she was crying, and was still laughing a few minutes after the video was over. Next Letter is from Emichan and PhoenixWarrior:

Dear Ryou,

Why are you British, and is Bakura really a jerk?

Dear Yugi,

Are you really a baby panda?

Dear Marik,

Occasionally I have the urge to knee guys in the nuts then hit them with a fake Millenium Rod. Is that normal? Should I stop? Should I send people to the shadow realm instead? - PhoenixWarrior

Dear Hikaris,(all of you)

I am currently obsessed with the abridged series. I sing Leather Pants and Come Sail Away on a daily basis, and I am considering building a shrine to LittleKuriboh. Any suggestions on how to not go completely crazy?

-Emichan

Ryou: I don't know! I can't help my nationality! Or my accent! And, Bakura is kind of a jerk, but he can be nice to me…when his life depends on it.

Yugi: Again I say, NO!

Ryou: You're not a baby panda?

Yugi: NO!

Marik: Wow, you're good! Yes, it's normal to wanna beat the living daylight out of some people. But, don't really do it, that's just not right. But sending people to the shadow realm solves all the worlds problems!

Ryou: Marik?

Marik: Yeah?

Ryou: Never become a teacher.

Marik: Why?

Yugi: You're not the best role model. The next Letter is from PhoenixWarrior:

Dear Marik,

Ignore that last letter. I know longer do that...but now I want to throw sticks at people. Should I go back to using the Rod? Is the shadow realm option still available? If so could you teach me? =)

Sincerely

PhoenixWarrior

P.S. Why are you hanging out with two baby pandas?

Marik: Whoops…To late. And NO! The Millennium Rod is mine and I have no idea how you got it! Unless you are using one like Odion's that's made out of delicious cheese. Just stick with the sticks.

Ryou: Now I'm a panda too?

Marik: Because Fluffy put me here!

Yugi: At first we had eight, but we got another while in the middle of typing, so here is number nine from Animegal:

Dear Yugi,

How do you feel about being paired with Tea, Seto, Ryou, Yami/Atem, and Serenity?

- Animegal

Dear Ryou,

Do you love Fluffy?

- Animegal

Dear Marik,

What's your favorite pairing?

Dear Hikaris(all of them),

Who is the overall best out of the three of you?

- Animegal

Yugi: Well Tea, I'm fine with. Serenity is like years younger then me. And, Yaoi creeps me out!

Marik: Fluffy likes Ryou, she likes it when you are paired with Ryou. Heartshipping.

Ryou: *Glares at Marik* She also likes Thiefshipping and Puzzleshipping.

Marik: *Gasp* Wait, Puzzleshipping has nothing to do with me.

Ryou: Yeah, but it's her second favorite. And, I do in 'Truth or Dare' but now, I have no idea.

Marik: Thiefshipping.

Ryou/Yugi: o.O

Marik: What?

Yugi: That's you and Bakura.

Marik: So?

Ryou:…Oh great this question will cause a lot of conflict!

*One hour later, after much conflict and argument…and injury*

Yugi: Ok so we agreed we are all equally awesome?

*Ryou and Marik nod*

Ryou: Well, there you have it. I just have something from Fluffy. She said that most of the Letters just had questions when there suppose to be questions asking for advise. There were some of those, she just wanted me to point that out. Good bye!

Yugi: Bye bye!

Marik: Until next time!


	3. Chapter 3

Marik: Hello mind slaves! Welcome to episode 3 of 'Ask Hikari'!

Ryou: Of course you are as giddy as ever. Sorry for such a long wait. Fluffy finally decided to get the bloody hell off of Facebook and write up her stories!

Yugi: Watch what you say! She controls everything you do here!

Ryou: Oh yeah…Sorry Fluffy! Hehe…

Marik: Anyway…First letter comes from sailorblaze!

Dear Ryou,

I'm a girl. - _ - And the person in question is Melvin. Why else would he becrazy?

Dear Marik,

Thanks for the hug! What would happen if you met the whole My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic gang?

Also: Lady Gaga made a song that rhymes with 'Shoes'. It's called, 'You andI'.

Dear Yugi,

How do you feel about the Pharaoh continuously Mind Crushing people at Target?

Ryou: Oh…Whoops…

Yugi: Smooth.

Ryou: Pshfpsh! As long as I'm not stabbed, I'm sure it'd be ok…

Yugi: I can just hear Fluffy shrieking 'Deathshipping!' right now! Hehe!

Ryou: *Glares* Heartshipping!

Yugi: Not helping yourself with that one!

Marik: That would be amazing! And HOLY FRIG! Wait a moment…Those don't rhyme! Why lie to me? I thought you loved me Suzie?

Ryou: Who's Suzie?

Marik: I HAVE NO IDEA!

Yugi: It can be entertaining at times I guess. Ok, next letter is from ImmortalAngel92:

Dear Ryou,I kidnapped these copies of these anime character a few months back and thenreleased them, theyt decided they liked living in the little world I crreatedso they chose to stay. There are about twenty in total since they asked if Incould bring in their friends too. Unfortunatley one of the original kidnapeeshas decided he like to kill me what should I do?Dear Yugi

I have a rediculous crish on one of the original kidnappes but he gets scaredof me quite often. (the one above keeps telling him lies) What should I do soI don't have to resort to drastic measrue?

Dear Marik

How do I stop thieves stealling my candy because they think it turns me evil?

Love Angel

P.S. Ryou should go on a date with Fluffy.

Ryou: I'll think about it. And, tell him to piss off, or he can't stay anymore! He will have to live on the street. So either a house and no killing, or the streets and still no killing.

Yugi: Well, you should tell him they are lies. Then duct tape the one's mouth shut! That'll keep him quiet!

Marik: Lock it away in a safe only you know the combination to. Or eat it all! They can't get it if you eat it all! Anyway! Next letter! It's from MyFalseTruth:

Dear Yugi, Ryou, and Marik,

What do I do if I start thinking about a super smexy Egyptian and cant stopsmiling/blushing in a crowded room, like a classroom or the halls at school?

-FalseTruth

Marik: I wonder who this super smexy Egyptian is?

Yugi/Ryou:….

Marik: Wha- Oooooh…Hooray!

Yugi: *Sigh* Actually, Fluffy goes through the same thing at school too.

Marik: She starts thinking about me at school and blushes?

Yugi: Ok, maybe not exactly the same thing. But sorta. She loves LittleKuriboh's YouTube videos. He makes Yugioh Abridged. She'll start thinking about one of his videos and begin laughing like crazy. People will ask her what on Earth is so funny, cause it happens a lot in public.

Ryou: What does she tell them?

Yugi: She tells them what she was thinking about. People either find it funny or disturbing…Depending on what it was she was thinking about.

Marik: And there you have it! Next letter's from yuuki rave:

Dear Hikari's i have chosen to live my life in solotitude, or so i thought. Iremember seeing Yu-Gi-Oh, when i was little, and thought it sucked. but mycousion changed that, and she's 2years older. and till about four months agodid i find Yaoi so pukeable, gross, weird, strange. Now, i leterly almost stopbreathing from laughing so hard 'cause it's so- dam cute.

1. pandas are ugly! yugi does not look like one he is himself

, phff, ahahahahaha, too funny, get over your ego.

3.[all]ok, what if i tell ya' i wake in da' middle of the night with a coldsweat, shaking because i swear i hear shirlls and screaming people, am i goingmad or is it because i have been having fevers?

4.i am a girl. so why do i only get into actuall fights with tall guys. i meanim short and skinny, i'm pail and have a blue ocean eyes, i never wearmake-up, but my lips are crimson red. i mean i don't talk to them, i have areally bad time remembering names, but for some reason they want a fight. ofcorse i always win since i know m.m.a. and i transfered schools. but sersoulythis guy is shorter than me, and is a trouble causing disruptive, anoyingfreak...*anger spike*...he is testing me, i am glad teachers are fooled easly,i am always a 'goody goody' 'shy girl' around everyone. ha, but when theybecome an enemy they rue the day they messed with me. but since i have beenill and my only resorce to the dr. was yesterday and they would not see mebecause she was my step mom, i feel increadably dizzy, and its hard for me tostand let alone walk what shoul i do about him? and there is also myda-father, the master of the house, the over controling parent. beyond upset imissed school yesterday, and what happened in the past still scares me todeath, what shoul i do?[-.-]

Ryou: Same with Fluffy!

Yugi: THANK YOU! I am not a Panda!

Marik: Malik is my evil side! I am Marik Sebastian Ishtar III ! And I will not lighten up on my ego! It's one of my star qualities!

Ryou: Avoid him…Or tell him to piss off!

Yugi: Why is that always the answer with you?

Ryou: Because! Next letter is from DreamixAngel:

Thanks for the advice, but we don't have anime convensions in my country...Also, if you're looking for videos, try youtube. They have tons there...

Dear Marik

There's this guy and girl at school that won't leave me alone! How do I getrid of them?

BTW, I love all three of you! *gives hugs to hikaris*

Marik: Hugs! And, you should tell them you're gay! It will either turn them on, or scare them away. More likely scare them away! Next letter's from crystal moon princess:

Lol I love this chapter^_^ It was very funny^_^ I love yugi *Sigh dreamly* Loland yeah ryou anger is the answer to everything lol^_^ love all of you guys^_^

Yugi: *Blushes*

Marik: Yugi's got a girlfriend!

Yugi: That's it…Marik's so getting a mind crush…

Ryou: Anger is always the answer! Not really an advise or question letter, but thank you for the review! Next letter comes from-Oh, we're out of reviews already?

Yugi: Wow, short chapter.

Marik: This story is way less popular then 'Truth or Dare'!

Ryou: This chapter is 4 times smaller then the latest 'Truth or Dare' update!

Yugi: Fluffy wanted me to tell you that she will turn the review into this…Either advise OR questions you have for us. Like 'Marik, are you secretly gay?'

Marik: Why use that as an example?

Yugi: Ask Fluffy.

Marik: WHY SUZIE? WHY?

Yugi: I said Fluffy!

Marik: Let me have my moment!

Ryou:…Ok then, until next time! Hopefully it comes sooner this time!


End file.
